


Guilt By Association

by IceBlueRose



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-10
Updated: 2011-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:55:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/181102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBlueRose/pseuds/IceBlueRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d allowed himself one scream. One scream of disbelief, of pain, of resistance. Just one and then he’d buried his face in his arms and clenched his jaw, determined not to make another sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He’d allowed himself one scream. One scream of disbelief, of pain, of resistance. Just one and then he’d buried his face in his arms and clenched his jaw, determined not to make another sound.

One scream was more than he deserved.

 _Adam was out for the night, having laughingly told Kris not to wait up, Matt had declared he was going for a swim, and Danny rarely came down to the basement unless he had to, so the only person left as the only possible choice responsible for the noise in his room was Allison._

 _Kris made sure the towel he’d grabbed was large enough to cover himself before calling out, “Allison, close your eyes and turn around. I have to grab clothes.” He glanced up as he walked into his room and stopped, blinking. “Danny.”_

 _Danny stared at him long enough that Kris shifted, uncomfortable. “Kris, I think you need help.”_

 _Kris blinked. “Help? With what?”_

 _“Adam.” Danny moved forward a few steps and it never occurred to Kris to back away. “I see the way you look at him, Kris. It’s wrong.”_

 _An uneasy feeling had Kris shifting his weight, the way he used to when he was getting ready to run. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, man. Adam’s my friend.”_

 _“If that were true, you’d look at everyone like that. You look at him differently and it’s a sin. Against God, against your marriage and I know you don’t want that. You’re a good man.” He reached out and gripped Kris’s arm firmly. “But it’s okay now. I’m going to show you why it’s wrong.”_

 _“Danny—“ Kris was cut off as Danny yanked him forward and then to the side, shoving him down on the bed._

 _“I’m going to save you.”_

Behind him, he could hear Danny muttering about how this is for his own good and, God help him, he’s never wanted to kill someone before but he would gladly throw Danny Gokey off the tallest building he could find right now.

He dug his fingers into the sheets, feeling them tear and give beneath his nails. It felt like he was being ripped in half as Danny continued to thrust and he had to press his face against the mattress to keep from screaming.

It felt like an eternity before Danny stiffened and came. He pulled out and scooted off the bed, straightening his clothes and fastening his jeans as he did so.

Kris stared at the clock on his nightstand, vaguely noting the time—9:43—as he swallowed. He didn’t flinch when Danny touched his back, refused to let his breath hitch at the feel of Danny’s skin against his.

“You’ll be okay now, Kris.”

Kris still didn’t respond as Danny waited for a moment before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. For a moment, Kris allowed himself to shake and then he carefully pushed himself up, groaning loudly at the pain that shot through him when he did. Breathing slowly, he pushed himself up and forced himself to walk to the door so that he could lock it before he went to his window and opened it, praying that the scent of Danny and sex would soon be gone.

He yanked the comforter and sheets off the bed, throwing them to the floor and then headed into the shower, locking the door that led to his room as well as the door that led to Adam’s. It was probably ridiculous but he wasn’t going to be surprised again, he thought as he turned the water on as hot as he could get it before stepping in and beginning the process of washing himself.

Kris grimaced as he felt the soap run down his lower back and he clenched his fists at the way the torn skin protested, the sting enough to have him closing his eyes, letting only a few tears escape, before he resolutely scrubbed his face and finished washing his body, scrubbing until the skin felt red and raw and standing under the water until it felt like needles were piercing his skin.

Wincing he turned off the water and gingerly stepped out, grabbing the towel he’d left out for Adam and using it to pat himself dry. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked both doors and walked back into his room, relaxing slightly at the scent of the fresh air mixed with the scent of the trees that filled the room now.

He dressed in loose, light pants and then put on a shirt that had to belong to Adam if the size were anything to go by, letting the thought comfort him a bit.

It took him a minute to make sure he’d gotten each of the sheets before he unlocked the door and stepped out; relaxing further when he saw the hallway was empty. As much as he loved Allison and Adam, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle seeing either of them at the moment. Tomorrow, after he’d gotten some sleep, he’d be fine. He nodded to himself as he quickly moved to the laundry room, his movements steady as he added the soap and set the timer. He’d wash the sheets and then throw the comforter in there while they dried. He’d have the bed remade in a few hours and there’d be no evidence of what had happened.

Kris let out another breath pressing his palms against the top of the washer and rolled his neck forward.

By tomorrow, no one would be able to tell he was anything but fine.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam leaned back on Kris’s bed and listened as the shower stopped. It was pure reflex to glance over when the door opened and his eyebrows shot up at how pink the skin on Kris’s chest looked.

“Jesus, Kris, how hot did you have the water?”

Kris jerked, spinning around, and Adam could have sworn that, for a moment, Kris had looked terrified before he let out a breath. “Adam,” he breathed, shoving his hands into the pockets of the jeans he’d taken to putting on as soon as he’d dried off in the bathroom. “I didn’t know you were in here.”

He stared at Kris, wondering at the expression on his face. Normally, Adam could read Kris like a book but just over the last week, it’d gotten more difficult.

“We were going to watch a movie, remember? Allison’s having mother/daughter time and I got bored, figured I’d wait for you in here.” He frowned and leaned forward a bit. “Are your jeans looser?”

Kris’s eyes widened and he grabbed a shirt, tugging it on and Adam’s frown deepened when he saw that that too was baggier than what Kris usually wore.

And, okay, maybe it was because he’d apparently come close to boiling himself in the shower and didn’t want the fabric to rub against his skin but, somehow, Adam was sure that wasn’t it.

“No,” Kris denied. “They’re the same.” He headed for the door. “Come on, it’s your turn to pick.”

They were silent as they walked upstairs and Adam couldn’t stop himself from glancing over every now and then as if whatever was bothering Kris would leap out at him. Despite what he’d said, Adam could see that Kris had lost weight and he thought back over the last week, trying to remember when he’d last seen Kris eat. His stomach twisted as he realized that while Kris said he’d eaten, brushing off comments with a smile or “Not hungry, just ate,” he hadn’t actually seen Kris eat anything in days.

“We’re getting snacks,” he said. When Kris opened his mouth to protest, Adam raised an eyebrow. “It’s a movie night. We’re at least having popcorn.” Snack foods might not be the most filling but Adam figured he’d start small when it came to shoving food at Kris.

Kris let out a breath. “Fine.” He turned to head into the kitchen and Adam noticed the way he tensed as they walked in. There was a pause and then Adam watched as Kris forcibly relaxed his muscles one by one. “Danny,” he said.

Danny smiled. “Kris,” he replied before he looked up and nodded, smile shifting into something else that Adam didn’t even want to identify. “Adam.”

Adam looked between the two, making note of the way Kris’s movements seemed different. He was sure no one else would notice it, but to him, there’d been a marked difference in Kris from the moment they’d entered the kitchen.

Kris’s fingers tightened on a pack of popcorn as Danny stood and moved to put his plate in the sink and Adam automatically shifted closer to Kris.

“I’ll see you guys later. Promised my cousin I’d give her a call,” Danny said as he walked out of the room. Adam watched as Kris kept his gaze fixed firmly on the popcorn he’d just put in the microwave and knew that whatever was wrong with Kris, Danny was a large part of it.

He thought back to the night before, remembering how Kris had acted when they’d gotten home after their performances for Rock Week.

 _“You’re going to be fine, you know that, right?” Adam watched as Kris shrugged, turning to look out at the trees._

 _“Maybe. Maybe it would be better if I went home.”_

 _Adam’s eyes widened at that and then he moved so he stood in front of Kris. “Don’t say that, damn it. You deserve to be here, Kris. God, have you heard yourself sing? It’s fantastic.”_

 _“The judges don’t think so and may—“_

 _“The judges are idiots, something you took great pleasure in pointing out to me during country week, remember?”_

 _Kris’s lips twitched. “Yeah.”_

 _“Now, admit I’m right.”_

 _Kris snorted and then smiled slowly. “You’re right, Adam.”_

 _“Good,” Adam exclaimed. He wrapped an arm around Kris’s shoulder and looked down at him. “Because if you go home, that leaves me and Allison alone with Danny and we wouldn’t want that, would we?” he joked. His grin faltered as some unknown look passed over Kris’s face._

 _“No, we really wouldn’t.”_

Once the popcorn was done, Adam snatched it out of the microwave, hissing when he opened the bag too quickly and the steam hit his skin. He glared at the bag and poured the popcorn into a bowl before heading towards the living room.

“We’re watching _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_ ,” he announced. Kris raised an eyebrow.

“Adam, I thought your eyes were going to fall out of your head, you rolled them so hard the last time I picked that. Why are you picking it?”

Adam smirked. “Because I want to watch you get so caught up in the movie, you start saying the lines with the actors and dancing in your seat during the parade scene.” His smirk turned into a bright smile when Kris laughed and rubbed the back of his neck as he began to set up the DVD.

Sitting back, Adam studied him and vowed to figure out what was wrong with Kris.


	3. Chapter 3

Kris shook his head, swallowing back the bile that kept rising in his throat, forcing himself to smile at Adam.

“I think I’m just going to take a shower and go to bed,” he said. “Go. Have fun.”

Adam stared at him for a moment and then nodded. “If you’re sure.”

“Positive. Danny’s out with his family and Allison...” Kris trailed off, frowning. Results night for Rock Week had not gone the way that he’d been expecting, in more ways than one.

A hand on his shoulder jolted him from his thoughts and his eyes snapped up as his stomach rolled.

God, please don’t let him get sick. Not yet, not until he was alone.

“Kris?”

“Just tired,” Kris told him. _Please go. Please, Adam, just go._

Adam hesitated for another few moments before he nodded even though he was frowning. “Call if you feel up to joining us or you need anything,” he finally said.

Kris nodded, unable to bring himself to say anything else. He waited until Adam had left before he bolted down the stairs, moving as fast as he dared.

He’d been feeling like he was going to crawl out of his skin since his name had been announced. The moment that Ryan had called his name first, part of him had been happy. He’d survived another week and to top it off, Allison and Adam wouldn’t be left with Danny. There’d been a chance Danny would go.

Then he’d noticed Adam moving to hug him first and suddenly Danny had been there instead, wrapping his arms around Kris and whispering, “You’re safe,” and Kris had wanted to get sick right then and there.

He’d been shaking when he’d hugged Adam and he knew Adam thought it was from surprise and Kris wasn’t about to tell him otherwise. He’d felt safe in those few moments when Adam had hugged him and then it’d been time to let go and he hadn’t been able to settle since.

Kris shoved the door to his room open and headed directly for the bathroom as he felt himself gag. He paused long enough to lock the door behind him and felt only a small relief when he was able to drop in front of the toilet and lost the little bit of food that Adam had managed to get him to eat earlier.

His throat burned as his body jerked forward, pressing up against the cold porcelain. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing the tears that managed to leak out despite his best efforts. Kris coughed a few times, gagging again as he remembered what Danny’s arms had felt like around him. He retched again though there was nothing left to throw up when he remembered Danny’s breath on his skin.

Gasping for air, Kris shoved away from the toilet, frantically undoing the buttons of his shirt until he was able to shove it to the ground. He turned the shower on, making it as hot as he could stand out of habit now, and quickly finished yanking off the rest of his clothes before he stumbled into the shower, bracing his hands against the wall.

He no longer flinched when the hot water hit his skin, he’d gotten used to it over the last week. Once he’d let the water hit his back for a few minutes, he grabbed the washcloth and soap and began to scrub himself.

His breath came faster as he scrubbed harder, concentrating on the areas where Danny had touched him earlier, even if it had been just a hug. He felt dirty, like he’d never get clean again. He continued to do this until he’d scrubbed the areas raw, the water stinging as tiny bits of blood appeared on his skin. He let out a breath and rinsed the cloth, letting the water hit the scrubbed areas to get rid of any extra blood that might appear.

Kris quickly washed his hair and scrubbed his face, making sure that all of the makeup from the show was gone before he leaned back against the wall. He could feel himself shaking and he called himself ridiculous because Danny wasn’t even in the house right now. He shouldn’t be like this over a hug.

 _Coward._

He let out a shaky breath and felt his legs give out so that he slid to the floor of the shower. Kris pulled his legs up to himself and buried his face against his knees as he let the water continue to hit him. He just needed a chance to pull himself together, that was all. He just needed a little time.

By the time he managed to pull himself to his feet, the water had gone cold. His skin was wrinkled and he couldn’t stop shivering as he turned off the water and practically fell out of the shower. He stared at his jeans, not sure he wanted to put them on until he’d washed them. But he hadn’t brought a change of clothes in with him so unless he wanted to go out there in nothing but a towel...

Immediately, Kris dismissed that idea before it could even fully form, snatching up the jeans and quickly pulling them up, wincing when the denim rubbed against the raw skin on his sides. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the rest of his clothes and walked back into his room, freezing when he saw he’d left the door wide open. Dropping his clothes, he practically slammed the door shut, locking it as well.

Leaning against the door for a moment, Kris sucked in a few breaths before he pushed away from it, forcing himself to pick up his clothes once more and turning off the light. Using the light coming through the blinds, he quickly tossed them into the corner near his closet before tugging his jeans off, kicking them into the pile as well.

The air hitting his still wet skin caused Kris to shudder as he pulled out a pair of boxer briefs and sweats, pulling them both on before hesitating and then pulling out an old shirt as well. Once he was covered, he relaxed slightly and then crawled into his bed, making sure the sheets and comforter were up to his shoulders.

Laying in the dark, Kris curled up on his side, shaking his head as he squeezed his eyes shut against the memories that wanted to break through.

 _“I’m going to save you.”_

Kris pressed his face into the pillow. _Not real, he’s not here, he’s not here. Door’s locked, no one can get in. Safe, I’m safe._

He kept repeating this until he finally managed to fall into a restless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The difference in Kris once Danny had left was noticeable. His smile reached his eyes for the first time in weeks and his laugh no longer sounded forced. He still looked too thin to Adam despite his continued insistence that he was fine and despite Adam shoving food at him whenever he could get away with it. The only time he really noticed Kris acting tense anymore were the times he’d argued with Katy—and wasn’t that new—moments like the one he had just walked in on.

“I know you’ve been worried,” Kris said, his back to Adam and he couldn’t help but frown at the downward slope of Kris’s shoulders. “I’m fine now.” There was a pause. “Katy, it’s not—“ He cut off and sighed, running a hand over his face. “You know that’s not it. I’ve been tired, that’s all.” As Kris seemed to get more tense, Adam fought the urge to go over and snatch the phone from his grasp and hang up. Instead, he moved out of sight and debated on whether to reveal himself.

“Katy—“ Kris cut off again and then Adam heard the distinct sound of the phone being thrown onto the table.

Adam walked backwards a few steps and then walked forward again, deliberately scuffing his shoe over the floor so that Kris would hear him coming, a habit he’d developed over the last few weeks.

Sending a silent thanks out to the universe for his acting skills, Adam smiled at Kris as he walked into the room. “There you are,” he said. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

The tense lines around Kris’s mouth disappeared as he smiled a bit. “Did you get lost?”

“Thought you might have actually,” he teased. Kris made a face and Adam laughed as he felt relief come over him. Kris was acting like Kris right now and hopefully it would stay that way. Adam still didn’t know what the hell had happened to cause Kris’s change in attitude but he was grateful that Kris seemed to be relaxing. “We’re going to be late.”

Kris raised an eyebrow even as he began to pick up his things. “For what?”

“Group rehearsal for the finale, remember? Top 13 reunion time!”

Kris’s grip on his phone and wallet faltered and Adam’s stomach clenched as Kris fumbled not to drop either. “What?”

Tilting his head, Adam studied Kris, taking in the sudden rigid set to his shoulders and the way he’d paled. “Yeah. We’re going to work on So What and then the number with just us guys.”

“Right.” Kris’s hands clenched around his phone and wallet before he shoved them each in a pocket, turning back towards Adam. “Yeah, I forgot.” He let out a slow breath. “Let’s go.”

Adam paused before he left the room. “Kris, you know if you need to talk...” he trailed off and watched as Kris nodded.

“Yeah, I know, Adam.”

Kris smiled slightly and Adam just wished he could believe that Kris meant it.

 

~*~*~

 

He couldn’t quite remember whose idea it had been for all of the top 13 to go back to the mansion but Adam couldn’t say that he wasn’t enjoying being able to joke around with Allison again.

They all ended up outside in the back, gathered around the pool, sprawled out on the lawn chairs. Kris had been sitting with them, jokingly fighting with Allison over ownership of one of the chairs until they’d come to the agreement to share it. It’d been one of the best things in his entire week to see Kris laughing like that again.

Eventually, Kris had gone off to catch up with Matt, kissing Allison’s cheek and promising to come back later. He watched Kris walk away and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Hey, dude,” Allison pushed at his arm slightly, “what’s up with you? This is a happy night! Besides, you and Kris need to enjoy this while you can since you have to go to bed early. Tomorrow’s the big night.”

Adam smiled. “Yeah, I know, it’s just...” He sighed and turned his head so that he was staring up at the sky. “I’m worried about Kris,” he finally said, making sure his voice was only loud enough for Allison to hear.

“Why? What happened?” He could hear Allison sitting up and turning towards him and he shook his head.

“That’s just it. I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I get. Plus, he’s been acting different.” Adam ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know,” he repeated. “I can’t explain it.”

“What did Kris say when you asked?”

Adam shifted in his seat. “I didn’t.” How did he explain that he felt like if he pushed Kris to talk, that Kris might break?

“Adam!” There was enough exasperation in Allison’s voice to have Adam turning to look at her. The sight of her sitting with her hands on her hips had his lips twitching. “You should ask. Maybe you could help.”

Adam thought of how Kris had acted earlier, the way he’d tensed at the idea of the others coming back and frowned, sitting up. He knew it wasn’t Matt or Anoop, they’d been joking around with Kris earlier, not to mention the fact that Kris had left to go talk to Matt just a few minutes ago. Mike, Scott, and Jorge had also all been gone by the time Kris had started acting differently.

He knew the feeling that he’d gotten a couple of weeks ago was right. Kris’s change in attitude had something to do with Danny but he still had no idea what could’ve happened between the two.

He was pretty certain that if he tried hard enough, he’d be able to pinpoint the time, but that really wasn’t the important part. The important part was figuring out what had happened and how he could help Kris relax again.

“I need to talk to Kris.” He pushed himself up. “You’ll be okay here?”

Allison nodded. “I’ll go talk to Megan. Just go find out what’s going on with Kris.” She glanced over at Matt and paused. “I guess you’ll have to find him first though.”

Adam followed her gaze and nodded, trying to push back the feeling that something was definitely wrong when he looked around the backyard and didn’t see Kris anywhere. “Hey, Matt,” he called. “Where’s Kris?”

Matt pointed at the house. “Said he was going to make sure everything was packed before he went to bed. You headed there too?”

“Some of us have to get up early, slacker.” Adam forced a smile when Matt grinned and flipped him off, elbowing Anoop as he did so. He waved as he headed back into the house, ignoring Matt’s calls about becoming a rock star and heading straight for the stairs that led down to his and Kris’s bedrooms.

This would be the perfect time to talk to Kris.

He froze partway down when he heard Kris’s voice drift up the stairs from his room and Adam knew that tone of voice, had heard it before when Kris was trying to hide what he was really feeling.

“Get out. Don’t come near me.”

Adam began to move again when he heard Danny’s voice answer, wondering how the hell he’d missed the fact that Danny hadn’t been outside. If he hadn’t focused on Matt...

“I helped you before, Kris. I can help again. I see it happening all over again in all of the interviews and even today during rehearsal.” Adam had no idea what Danny was talking about but the feeling from earlier was worse than before and, damn it, it felt like there were more stairs than usual and he would swear that this hallway hadn’t been this long.

“Helped? You think what you did helped?” There was a pause and then, his voice shakier than before, Kris repeated, “I told you not to come near me.”

“This is for your own good. I know I can save you, Kris, just like last time.”

Adam went cold as Kris’s next words seemed to explode out of him.

“What you did wasn’t saving me, it was rape!”


	5. Chapter 5

It was the first time Kris had said the word out loud and it felt like it echoed throughout the room in those seconds after he said it. Danny was close, crowding him back and Kris desperately wished that he’d stayed outside rather than trying to go to bed early.

He backed up another step, paling when his legs bumped into the bed and Danny followed.

“It was salvation. It made you realize how wrong it was, didn’t it?” Danny sounded like he was simply debating which movie would be better to watch. Kris froze when Danny wrapped a hand around his arm, his mind flashing back to the first time.

“I’m going to save you.”

Kris shook his head. _Not again, I’m not letting it happen again, no, no, no..._ “Let go of me,” he pulled his arm back, hearing the panic in his own voice as he began to fall backwards, “let go!”

“Kris—“

Danny didn’t have a chance to finish whatever he was about to say before he was ripped away from Kris, who cried out when his back collided with the mattress. His eyes widened as he watched Adam’s fist connect with Danny’s jaw. He let out a breath, stomach clenching at the rage he saw on Adam’s face. Kris couldn’t bring himself to move as he watched Adam deliver punch after punch to Danny’s midsection.

 _You could just let him finish it_ , Kris thought. _Let Adam end it_.

Kris shook his head, immediately pushing the thought away. He wasn’t going to sit back and watch as Adam threw away everything he wanted with every punch he threw, no matter how much he wanted to see Danny on the ground. He pushed himself off the bed when Adam shoved Danny back against the wall, one hand wrapped around his throat.

“Adam.” He swallowed, clearing his throat and raising his voice. “Adam, stop!”

Adam clenched his jaw, hand flexing around Danny’s throat. “Why? One good reason, Kris.”

Kris fought the urge to reach out and touch Adam’s arm. “He’s not worth losing everything you’ve worked for.” He paused and let out a shaky breath. “And I don’t want you to go.”

At that, Adam abruptly let go of Danny and stepped back, watching as he doubled over. He stared at him for a few moments before he suddenly kicked out, slamming his foot into Danny’s groin. His lips twisted when Danny only managed to groan before he dropped to the ground, hunching over. Adam clenched his hands into fists and then reached down and grabbed Danny by the neck, hauling him up and dragging him to the door.

“You can figure out a way to explain your face to makeup tomorrow,” he snapped, shoving him into the hallway hard enough that he slammed into the wall opposite the door. “And you damn well better make sure that you stay the hell away from Kris or this is going to be nothing, you understand me?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he slammed the door shut and backed away from it, breathing deeply.

It was another few moments before he turned back to Kris and Kris had to fight not to flinch at the look in Adam’s eyes. Still, something must have shown on his face because Adam’s expression had already softened.

He stepped forward, hand reaching out before he stopped and let his hand drop. Kris felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

Now Adam knew.

“Kris, is it...” Adam bit his lip. “Is that okay? Hugging?”

Kris swallowed, part of him wanting to snap that he wasn’t some fragile piece of glass, the other just glad that Adam wasn’t rejecting him, that he was worried about him instead. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and then finally decided to tell Adam the truth.

“The only time I’ve felt safe the last couple weeks is when you hugged me,” he confessed, looking down.

The words were barely out of his mouth before Adam had his arms wrapped around Kris, holding him tightly.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t—“ Adam cut himself off and shook his head. “I’m here now, though, okay? I promise, I won’t let him anywhere near you. It’s going to be okay.”

Kris shook his head, pressing his face against Adam’s chest. “It’s not,” he managed, his voice sounding slightly choked. “It’s not okay.” He started to pull away. “You know now, you know what I let him—“

“No.” Adam’s arms tightened around him, cutting him off. “No,” he repeated, pulling back just enough to look down at Kris. “You didn’t let him do anything, Kris. You didn’t ask for this.” He pulled Kris close again. “This is not your fault.”

Kris shuddered. Adam was wrong. If he’d been stronger, he’d have been able to stop it the first time. He hadn’t even stopped it this time, Adam had. Instead, he’d frozen and panicked and, God, he wished he were stronger.

As if he could sense what Kris was thinking, Adam lowered his head so that it was almost like he was wrapped around Kris completely. “It’s not your fault,” he repeated, his voice low.

They were silent for a few moments and then Adam pulled back again and stared down at Kris before he moved to the bed, sitting down and scooting back until his back was against the headboard. Kris watched as he settled there and then looked up, motioning for Kris to join him. Once Kris had climbed up next to him, Adam wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Does Katy know?” he asked quietly.

Kris’s eyes widened and he jerked away from Adam. “You can’t tell her,” he blurted. “Adam, you can’t, she can’t know, you can’t tell her, please...” He could feel himself shaking at the thought of the look that Katy would get on her face if she knew.

He hadn’t been able to bring himself to do more than hug or kiss her when they’d been allowed their trips home. It was ridiculous because being with Katy shouldn’t have been hard. The way he’d always been able to wrap himself around her should have been comforting. Instead, he’d felt dirty and unworthy of her and he’d tried to avoid being alone with her too much, just as he’d been avoiding talking to her too much on the phone. She’d noticed and he hated the hurt look in her eyes but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything more.

It was one of the things they’d been arguing about lately, among other things.

Adam tugged him closer. “Kris, she’s going to find out if you tell the cops.”

Kris stared. Tell the cops? How could Adam think he could tell them what happened? He couldn’t tell anyone. “I’m not telling them.” When it looked like Adam was going to say something, Kris shook his head. “I’m not telling anyone. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Kris let out a breath. “Do you know what’ll happen if I try to say something? It’ll be a media circus. There’s no proof because it was weeks ago. It’s my word against his and even if you said something, Danny’s never actually confessed. He’s not going to.” He looked down. “I can’t say anything. I can’t stand the thought of everyone knowing, of it being talked about by other people.”

Adam squeezed Kris’ shoulder. “He needs to pay for what he did.”

“It won’t be that way,” Kris said. This was something he was sure of. He wouldn’t be pressing charges. He let out a breath and hated the way his voice shook when he continued, “I can’t handle it, Adam.”

Adam pulled him closer, pressing Kris’s face against his neck. Kris listened to him breathe for a few moments and then Adam sighed. “Okay. I won’t force you to do that.” Kris closed his eyes, letting himself relax. “But you’re not dealing with this on your own anymore. I’m not budging on that one, Kris.” He pulled back and made sure to meet Kris’s eyes. “Whatever you need, I’ll help, okay?”

Kris stared up at him and then nodded. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Adam’s shoulder. “What’s going to happen on tour?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Adam told him. “I promise.”

Kris wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist, nodding, and for just a moment, he let himself believe.


	6. Chapter 6

Adam let out a breath and stared out the window, debating with himself on what he was about to say. Even as he did this, his thoughts were interrupted when Brad cleared his throat.

“I’m assuming you called me for a reason, Sparkles.”

Adam licked his lips and turned back to face Brad. The sight of him had him fighting not to clench his fists when he realized just how similar Brad and Kris were in size though Brad was definitely smaller. After a moment, he forced himself to relax.

“You’ve got contacts on the East coast, right?”

“Of course, I do.” Brad raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

“Got any in the area of, say, where Gokey lives?”

Brad straightened and leaned forward. “Is there a particular reason you want to know what kind of people I would know in that area?”

“Not reasons that I can tell you.” He didn’t care how much he knew that he could trust Brad, this wasn’t his secret to tell. He wouldn’t betray Kris that way.

“It involves someone else then,” Brad said, nodding in understanding. He’d always been able to read Adam easily. When Adam didn’t say anything, he nodded again. “And since you’re asking about the oh so saintly Gokey, I’m guessing it involves someone from Idol. Using my superpowers of observation, I’m going to also say that since the last time I saw you was just after Rock Week and Gokey stayed an extra week and there’s only one other person who stayed that long as well, that this involves a certain Arkansas singer that the fans have dubbed Pocket Idol.” Adam tensed and Brad tilted his head. “Well?”

“He hurt Kris and that’s all I’m saying.” He knew he wouldn’t have to say anything else. If this were just a case of Danny insulting Kris, Adam wouldn’t have called. He knew that Brad would understand that this was something serious. Adam clenched his jaw and glared at the wall, thinking of what an understatement that was.

Brad stared at him for a few moments before slowly nodding. “What do you want?”

“Make it look random so that he doesn’t know what this is about. Don’t let them leave any visible marks. As much as I hate to say it, he still has to start tour rehearsals in a week.”

“You want him to still be hurting by then?”

Adam nodded. “Yes.”

“I’ll make some calls.”

That was one of the things Adam had always loved about Brad – he knew when not to ask questions. In this case, Adam couldn’t be happier about the fact that Brad knew people that were definitely outside of their usual circle of friends.

If Adam couldn’t go after Danny directly, this would have to do.

 

~*~*~

 

The first sight of Kris has Adam wanting to wrap his arms around him and take him to some island where no one would be able to find them. Maybe Tuvalu, it’s right there in between Hawaii and Australia, no one would look for them there. Then maybe he could get Kris to stop looking so pale and he could convince Kris to rest so that he didn’t look like one touch would have him falling over.

“Adam.” Kris didn’t say anything else as Adam pulled him close. He felt Kris shudder and tightened his grip around him.

“Are you okay?” Adam glanced up as he asked, making sure that no one else was around.

Kris nodded against Adam’s chest. “Yeah.” There was a pause and then he shook his head. “No.”

Adam closed his eyes, wishing that he could go find Danny and end him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

For a long moment, Kris didn’t say anything before he nodded. “Is there somewhere we can go where...where no one can hear us?”

“Come on,” Adam told him, pulling away slightly. “I’ve been wandering around here all day, I know where we can go.”

Kris gave him a small smile as he began to lead the way down a series of hallways until they came to a small room. It was empty and there were no windows, just a door. Adam had thought it looked like a place where you’d lock someone up but it was also the perfect place for private conversations since there was no place a person could hide and eavesdrop.

As soon as he’d closed the door and had Kris sit down, Adam raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”

Kris stared down at his hands, twisting his wedding ring. “I told Katy.”

It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach with the way the air rushed out of his lungs. “You told Katy,” he repeated slowly. Kris nodded. “How...” He trailed off, unsure if he should ask the next question that popped in to his head.

Kris’s hesitation was long enough to have Adam’s stomach sinking. “She hasn’t looked me in the eye since she found out. The few times she’s tried, she ends up turning away.”

Adam closed his eyes for a moment. “Kris,” he said, pulling him into another hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Kris muttered.

Adam’s fingers flexed against Kris’s back. “I’m still sorry.”

Rather than answer, Kris just shrugged and let out a breath. It was a few more minutes before Adam pulled back again. “That offer to talk whenever you need it still stands.”

“I know.” Kris rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I just...I just want to get through this right now.”

“You need to get some sleep.”

Kris shook his head. “I can’t,” he said, voice breaking. “Whenever I try to sleep, I keep thinking about...I haven’t been able to sleep much. I’ve just been napping whenever I could because if I try to sleep, I start thinking about...about it and about tour and—“

Adam moved back, stretching out on the couch, on his side, and pulling down Kris so that he was lying in front of him. Kris was tense for a few moments and then he relaxed.

“Don’t think about it, okay? I told you we’d figure this out and we will. But right now, you need to sleep. You’re going to need all the rest you can get.”

“What if—“

“No what ifs, just sleep,” Adam told him. “I’m going to stay right here so you won’t have to worry about anything.”

Kris nodded and relaxed further against Adam. It only took a few minutes before Adam felt Kris’s breathing begin to even out.

Letting out a shuddering breath, Adam wrapped his arms around Kris, determined not to let anything disturb him.

Maybe he couldn’t do much about what had happened yet but this, this he could do.


End file.
